Name: D. Todd Holmes Jr. (He/Him/His)
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Ethnicity: African American
Current location: Charlotte, NC
Degree (completed): Master of Science in Organizational Development
Institution(s): Queens University of Charlotte
I am originally from Statesville, NC. My mother played a significant role in how I viewed education. She was a single parent that raised two boys to be men while working multiple jobs at a time. Her expectation was that I do everything to the best of my ability, to not make excuses, but find a way to overcome. Having an education was a large part of that.
My mother used to say, “If you want something you have never had, you have to do things you have never done.”
I recall being in the fourth grade and making new friends. The friends I had were all from where I was from. We did not have a lot, you got called names for being different and definitely got called names for being a “nerd.” With them, there was more value in being tough than smart. These new friends all had great grades, and though my grades were not bad, I was not on the “A Team” as it was titled by the school. I knew I would not be able to dress like them or be a car rider, which was seen as status to us, but I could find other ways to connect with them.
One of the unspoken rules were, you want to be around these cool kids, you have to be smart!
I remember working harder than I ever had to get better grades, which included me raising my hand and giving answers to questions that I had no clue about. With those attempts, my confidence grew. I was right a lot more than I was wrong and I learned even when I may have missed the mark. Prior to us being released for Christmas Break, I learned I had made “A-B Honor Roll.” I felt validated that I could indeed be one of those smart cool kids. My mom was over the moon proud and so was my older brother. They always wanted me to do things that they did not and this was one of those moments. They pushed me to do that, or better, every year afterwards and I did.
Describing my most influential educator is tough, because in my case, it truly took a village. However, if I must settle on one, it would have to be Coach Patrick Tate. Tate, as I still refer to him today, was the running backs and defensive backs coach for my high school football team. Until I got to high school, I did not understand what true accountability looked like. In elementary school and middle school, I was bigger and faster than all the other kids. My attitude reflected that. Once I got to high school, I was surely not the biggest and far from the fastest. That was not the issue, the issue was my attitude and willingness to work. I remember it was the end of my freshman school year and I had been griping to those around me about transferring to another school where I would play as much as I wanted, where I wanted, and Tate found out about this.
That story may have included me saying Tate was trying to hold me back, because surely I knew everything as a freshman. Tate was not like others, who would hear about a young man and leave him be. Tate pulled me out of my keyboarding class and took me to the library. He let me know he had heard everything I had said, however, that was not what resonated with me. Tate told me,
“TJ, I don’t care where you go or what you do. You don’t have to be here and you don’t have to play football. You need to know you can be as good as you want to be if you will work. And furthermore, anytime you have something to say about me, you come and tell me. Don’t ever tell anyone else about me, be a man and talk to me.”
That took place almost 20 years ago and I never forgotten that. Being raised in a single parent household, I feel that was my first time being held accountable as a man by a man. I use that example because he, along with our other coaches, wanted to know what my grades were and how I was doing in clubs, etc. He was involved in all aspects of my high school tenure and I can never say thank you enough for what he did for me.
I understood from experience that I did not want to live the way I was brought up, although I know my mother did her best. I knew that hard labor was not what I wanted to do for 40 plus years because I had worked those jobs. Lastly, I knew I enjoyed the military, however, I wanted something different so that is what led me to go back and complete my bachelors then pursue my masters degree.
Ferrum College is a special place. I have numerous friends who attended other institutions for their bachelors, however, the support I received is a differentiator. For over two years of my collegiate career, I did not have money to buy books. In being transparent, I would inform my professors and they would give me ways to work around that. Yes, some cared more than other, however, in whole, they pointed me in the direction that I needed to go to make it through. During my first semester junior year, I was able to buy my books for the first time and I also made dean’s list. I made it every semester afterwards as well. That campus community would not let me fail and it cannot be overstated.
When it comes to higher education in general, I feel there are a number of ways it undermined me and others that are first generation. In reflecting, there is no effort to define terms. I recall being told I needed to do my NCAA Clearinghouse. I had never heard of it and almost missed the deadline. I completed my FAFSA and received my reward without knowing the difference between scholarships, grants and loans. It took me about a year while in college to grasp that. Also, I had no understanding of in state institutions versus out of state. Public institutions versus private. I could have gone to countless in state schools for a fraction of the cost, however, I am grateful for Ferrum and those experiences. With the extracurricular activities, I felt I had a grasp on those once I was enrolled. One thing I wish I could have done while in undergrad was purse the fraternity that I am a part of now. We do not have a chapter at Ferrum College, however, I would have probably attended a school where they have a chartered chapter.
Overall, I feel higher education speaks from a place of informational privilege. Taking time to explain terms perspective students and parents need to know in the paperwork can be a great addition. There are a number of young people schools are recruiting that may not know what schools are speaking of and it is important they do if you wish to have a well-informed student and family join your campus community.
Having two completed degrees mean a lot to me. I mentor young kids now that are going through what I went through and they believe that they can change their life through education because they see I have done it. It is imperative that younger people see what they want to be. I did not have a lot of that, and I have been blessed to receive these collegiate opportunities. Football made a way for me to get onto a college campus for my bachelors. My military service allowed me to pay for my masters.
I am rewriting what those in my family can, and have, been and it is truly humbling.
If I wrote a book about my journey, I would title it “Mistakes Are Meant to Happen.”
I would title the book this because my mother’s plan was not to have another child, and if she did, she wanted a girl then surprise...me. I have made a lot of mistakes, some good and others not so much. Even my discovery of organizational development happened as a mistake. So you never know where you are going to go. I would not be who I am if it were not for those mistake, those opportunities to grow. Now, I look at them as was to get better in everything that I do and I am appreciative of feedback and insight. That is how good becomes great in my opinion.
I have often found myself being, “The only meatball in the rice.” That is my way of saying I often find myself being the only African American in the room the higher I go and I feel that is another opportunity to make a way for those coming after me. To make that impression on those there that intelligence, grit and resilience can take you a long way. I want to tell first generation students, yes, you can do it. Yes, you belong and this was not a mistake. Trust yourself and do not doubt what you can do. Your effort is not the thing that will kill your dreams, your doubt will if you let it. Always ask questions, who cares if you feel nervous about it. If someone laughs, it does not matter because you are about to receive the answer you need to be better and know more. Lastly, remember why you wanted to do this in the first place. More times than not, I hear, “I wanted to do something different.” Different does not mean easy, however, it certainly does not mean impossible.
Even with impossible, it states “IM-POSSIBLE.”
Currently, I work in learning and development. I use instructional design skills to build e-learnings for our company employees to utilize. I also build and facilitate in person courses on leadership development, trust building and coaching and feedback to name a few. Ultimately my love for people is why I chose my career field. I truly enjoy people because no two are alike. There’s so many experiences and stories we all have and they can be powerful examples for others. Going forward, I plan to complete my Executive Coaching Certification this summer and I look to move into a new opportunity, where ever that may be. Also, long term, I would like to have my own consulting company where I coach individuals and facilitate inclusion based courses for companies.
